Now I Belong

We enjoyed a leisurely lunch in the hotel restaurant. I asked many questions and she freely answered. I think returning to this island brought back memories for her and she enjoyed reminiscing. But I doubt she enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed listening. I guess I’ve known her all my life, but I never knew her story. I am grateful for the opportunity to know her better now that I’m an adult. After a lovely afternoon together, I wrote the following about her:  

Now I Belong

I closed my eyes and smelled the salt of the sea. The wind whipped my carefully curled hair, but I didn’t mind. He squeezed my hand, that man beside me: the love of my life. We stood side by side on a ferry, the island before us slowly growing in size as the massive engine of the ferry churned the water of the Malacca Straits. Strangers surrounded us. These believers from the island—escorting us to our new home—would become life-long friends.

My free hand made its way to my belly. At six months, I was noticeably with child. This island we approached would be his birthplace. I looked into the eyes of the man who held my hand. He gave me his winsome smile. That smile was for me, but soon, others would learn to love it as much as I did. I don’t remember what else we did on that ferry, our hearts full of excitement mixed with fear. Perhaps we hummed the tune together…a hymn we knew by heart. 

Jesus, my Lord will love me forever,

From Him no pow’r of evil can sever,

He gave His life to ransom my soul;

Now I belong to Him.

Our Message

This was the message we wanted to share with the beautiful people of this tropical island. Our son was born three months later and for two years we lived on the island and shared the message. We knew we wouldn’t stay there long: we were in transition. We moved to a different island in a different country. And even after many years of sharing the message there, we moved on to other islands and other countries.  And the more we shared the message, the more we fell in love with the One Whose message we brought.

Now I belong to Jesus

Jesus belongs to me

Not for the years of time alone

But for eternity.

Our son grew up and returned to our home country. But we kept traveling, kept sharing. We witnessed amazing works of love when the Lord brought the lost to Himself. We laughed, we cried, we loved. We fell even more in love with our Lord. Because when you think of it, we had the greatest message of all. Why wouldn’t we want to share it? 

Once I was lost in sin’s degradation, 

Jesus came down to bring me salvation, 

Lifted me up from sorrow and shame, 

Now I belong to Him;

Then We Retired

And then we retired. And we returned to our home country with decades of stories from places most people will never see or know about. We had to learn how to fit back in, just like we learned how to fit in so many years ago on that ferry headed to our mysterious island-home. So we did. And in this new season of life we could still sing.

Now I belong to Jesus

Jesus belongs to me

Not for the years of time alone

But for eternity

The Hardest Lesson of All

But there was more we were to learn and in my 70s, I learned the hardest lesson of all. Alzheimer’s is a wicked disease. And I watched as my husband was slowly stripped of his abilities. One by one he lost them. One by one, I picked them up to do for him. One by one the burdens weighed more and more heavily upon me. Then, on a particularly difficult day, he took me by the arms, that man who squeezed my hand on the ferry so many years ago. He squeezed my arms and looked me in the eye and he said to me, clear and strong:

“It’s going to be OK. Jesus will to see you through this.” 

My partner, my dear, who could no longer do anything for himself, spoke words of comfort to me. And these words encouraged me as if he had sung me the words with his beautiful voice.

Joy floods my soul for Jesus has saved me, 

Freed me from sin that long had enslaved me 

His precious blood, He came to redeem, 

Now I belong to Him; 

A Holy Moment

After sleepless nights and difficult days, when I thought I could not make it any longer, I found my love sitting on the sofa, talking to Someone Who sat beside him, though no one was there. 

“I want you to know, Jesus,” he said, “the greatest joy in my life, was bringing others to you.”

I sat on the floor at his…at their…feet and listened. 

“Oh but I have to apologize,” my husband said. “I am so sorry I did not bring more. I am so very sorry.”

A holy minute on holy ground. Spiritual moments…a squeeze to my hand, a winsome smile, “Let’s tell just one more person about Jesus.” 

Alzheimer’s is a wicked disease. It stripped my husband of almost everything, but it did not strip him of his love for Jesus.

And as I walk down the aisle at my husband’s funeral, I hear his beautiful recorded voice over the speakers. 

I know Who is the Victor in our story. My husband sings the message so clearly and I can almost see his winsome smile up in heaven.

Now I belong to Jesus

Jesus belongs to me

Not for the years of time alone

But for eternity!

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*Clayton, Norman J. “Now I Belong to Jesus.” Baptist Hymnal 1975, #477.

*Featured photo is the waters of the Straits of Malacca