Turning 50

I turned 50 in May. Can you believe it? That’s half a century. You’re supposed to feel old and depressed when you turn 50, I think. Or you are supposed to greet the five-decade birthday with gusto and the battle-cry: “I’ll never submit to old age!” 

I think I’ll choose something in-between.

Inspiration from an Acquaintance

During one of the “breaks” in our on-going lockdowns, as I walked along the beach, I met a lady visiting our island from her home in the capital city. She is a widow and she also turns 50 this year. She said that this year she plans to hike Mount Kinabalu. This mountain is in Borneo and, at over 13,000 feet, is the tallest mountain in Malaysia. Hiking Mount Kinabalu is a wish of mine as well, and to be honest, I was quite surprised to find a 50-year-old Malay woman who wanted to do the same thing. 

Along with hiking, my new friend said she planned to retire soon so that she could travel to other places around the world. I admire this widow who wants to take advantage of her youth (you see what I did there? You like how I’m ignoring the naysayers who think 50 is OLD?) and travel while she still has good health.

We only met for those few minutes on the beach, my new FIFTY-YEAR-OLD (if I keep saying it, will I get used to it?) friend. But we took several “selfies” on the beach (selfies are a big thing here. We in Malaysia are TOTALLY into pictures, especially selfies), and when I look at those pictures, I’m reminded of my friend and how she wants to spend the next few years having adventures.

I agree with her. I believe I’ll do the same. So as I celebrate FiFtY yEaRs, I look forward to filling the rest of the years God has me here: 

with adventures. 

Inspiration from a Friend

Not long after my walk on the beach, I took a walk with my friend Anna and asked her about turning 50. I learned so much from our conversation. Here’s Anna’s take on our time together:

On Turning 50 – I was recently hanging out with a friend who is turning 50 next month.  It seems she’s been thinking about it a lot and wondered aloud about my thoughts on the subject.  

“Turning 25 was my hardest birthday,” I said.  Surprised, she asked me why.  I thought about it a bit, not quite sure how to articulate my thoughts.  “I think,” I began, “that 25 was my mental milestone between the carefree days of youth and the reality of adult decision-making, and it didn’t feel that great. It felt heavy.”

In contrast, turning 50 felt more like a deep sigh of relief washing over me.  I was so much smarter—smarter than I had ever been at any other point in my life.  I had come to terms with the fact that I didn’t know everything and not only was that okay but it was kind of exciting because there was still so much to know, to experience, and to learn.  At the same time, all the stuff I did know was really useful and my decision-making skills, though not perfect, were honed from lessons learned. And the most difficult of these…I would never be repeating!  

I had reached a point in life in which I wasn’t spending too much time or energy reflecting on how to survive and this felt good.  The biggest relief though, was that I cared a lot less about the judgement of others—a heavy, sometimes unnamed burden, that many carry through life. And then, there was that final thought: the moment of revelation when I realized that my 97-year old father had spent 30+ years in his career, retiring at age 65, and now over 30 years later… he had lived another careers-worth of life.  I had a whole “other life” ahead of me to get busy living. And, what a relief not to be 25 again!

These two women have inspired me. Seven weeks into being 50, I think I quite enjoy it!