How Long?

I read Psalm 13 this morning and was feeling it right along with David:

“How long, O Lord?”

I guess the man after God’s own heart wasn’t referring to a global Pandemic, but I’m telling you that I could sure could relate to his words. Sometimes I just get sad.  Sad for things I’ve “lost” because of lockdowns, closed borders, cancelled plans. Sad for the things I wish had happened but didn’t, or should happen, but won’t. Sad because I can’t even plan for good things…or for contingencies. Because we just. don’t. know.

Wondering

And I find myself wondering HOW LONG will it be like this?

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?”

Psalm 13:1&2

I have not experienced any grave tragedies as a result of the Pandemic, but I have experienced loss. All of us have felt the loss in some way. 

“Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, ‘I  have prevailed over him,’ lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.”

Psalm 13:3&4

We see the “enemy” which seems very mysterious and strong. We look to God and want His answer. Or we think we do. But there are two mistakes we can make here:

Mistake #1

First, I’ve learned recently that when I ask God for an answer, I usually mean I want Him to respond with the answer I choose. But that’s silly, right? How can the pot tell the Potter how to do His job? (Isaiah 45:9) If I am going to ask God to “consider and answer me,” I need to let the answer be His (which will almost always be something different than what I choose).

But He is Good, and His answer is always right. Do I believe that?

Mistake #2

Second, when I ask God for an answer, I want the solution, resolution, result right now. Unfortunately for the tastebuds of my carnal appetite, time is almost always an ingredient in God’s answer.

Time.

TIME.

TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYMMMMMMMMMMM.

I find that His answers feel to me like forever in arriving (“one day is as a thousand years” kind of forever. 2 Peter 3:8).  

Looking Back

And then, when I am standing at the longed-for Mount of Conclusion, holding the gift of His answer in my hands, I look back at where I’ve come from and say, “Ohhhhhh, now I get it.” And I see that the Lord, in His time, not only answered me, but changed me to be more like Christ and in the process, gave me more gifts than I could have imagined.

“But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your  salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.”

Psalm 13:5&6

This statement of faith by the psalmist, is written not on that mountaintop at the end of the trial, but in the valley itself. Surrounded by sorrow and sleepless nights and questions.

The Choice

The choice to trust was made first. Just as God’s choice to love us with a steadfast love was made first. And because of that, David (and we as heirs of the same Kingdom) can rejoice in salvation. The salvation we have and the salvation we have yet to see.

And with grateful hearts we can say in faith and in full honesty that God, our Good God, has dealt bountifully with us.

What About You?

Are you standing on the mountain top looking back? What good things has God done that make you say, “Ooooh, now I get it”?

Are you trudging through the valley, asking God, “How long?” If so, are you letting God choose the answer to your questions?